The greatness that is a national holiday... But as humans, we keep getting the essence wrong. I could actually be the one who gets it wrong but 'cause my head's too stuck up my own ass, I don't realise it. However, I'll continue believing it's a day to remember, even for a second, those who took the stand to make it possible for us, to be.
Not a day to be starting riots and cursing white humans. I'll cuss them out anyday and everyday if I feel like it, thank you. It frustrates me that people have unsaid expectations of sort. Should I be carrying banners protesting in the streets or something? Is that what the rest of you are doing while I bob my head to Kanye West samples? Or maybe I should take the easier route and send chain texts quoting Dick Johnson and Rita James who were killed in 1960 rather. That could just do the trick. I may be curled up on this couch, but that doesn't mean I don't acknowledge their contribution to what is. The same goes for the other national holidays, Heritage Day especially. I'm starting to hate that day actually. Humans see it as priority to always be on my ass, accusing me of not knowing my heritage. Tricks and pricks PLEASE! I won't walk around in traditional attire chanting the 'Ingqumbo yeminyanya' theme song to prove to you exactly what I am. I choose what language I speak, and I owe you nothing. My parents can't ducktape me with a 9 milli 'gainst my temple dictating my life, neither should you.
But on this Human Rights Day, I'm being called ignorant and ungrateful. All this for sitting at home, phone in hand with my earphones plugged in, listening to American rappers. Ever think that maybe I am actually exercising a right? A right to relaxation, more especially, a right to do what makes me happy? No. And here I was thinking happiness is a basic Human Right. So kindly, SOD OFF. I run this ship.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Cyberspace Hostilities...
Like the assumptions of the great laws and theories we're taught over the years, here's a couple of conditions to roll with. Firstly, I'm not 16. Secondly, I have a brain which I strive to use to 'average capacity.'
The two above-mentiond useless facts should immediately make it clear to you that I'd rather pillage mice than involve myself in such. And by such, I mean TWARS. Special word aint it? All thanx to the revolution that is Twitter! The first three or five internet quarrels were funny. Well, they got me chuckling a bit, pitying the losing party more than anything though. But after that the whole indaba was as entertaining as SABC tv weekend-programming, and as heartfelt as those dumb-ass love quotes females so often choose to live by.
Yes I talk a shit load of bull, it's in my nature. And at any given moment in time I'll be bullshitting someone. But don't confuse that with being dumb. If you're into the whole twar thing, you're an idiot! Don't argue, just nod in acceptance. What's disturbing about this though, is that 98% of the time the 'war' is between females. I'll give you a $1 000 000 if you can correctly guess what sparks the whole thing. Okay you took too long. But the actual cause is infact, a knob! Well maybe a text from the side-chick or the new interest, which you happened to 'bump' into. But ultimately, it centres around a knob! Wow ladies, wow! You never cease to amaze me! My only question is, why? If you're willing to lose your 'dignity' that easily, what else are you capable of doing? Can you imagine what I think of you? No you can't. But I'll do you the favour of telling you that, I actually have more respect for a diseased chicken than I do for you. But hey, I'm a tortured soul so don't pay mind to my words. Keeping quiet might earn you less points, less 'beast' status, but at the end of the day you still have your worth. And my respect, which is paramount!
Stop embarrassing yourself, the internet is just that - the internet! Stupidity is a such a strong force, like a black hole of sort. Always trying to suck someone in. Do the right thing, earn my respect. Choose logic babe.
The two above-mentiond useless facts should immediately make it clear to you that I'd rather pillage mice than involve myself in such. And by such, I mean TWARS. Special word aint it? All thanx to the revolution that is Twitter! The first three or five internet quarrels were funny. Well, they got me chuckling a bit, pitying the losing party more than anything though. But after that the whole indaba was as entertaining as SABC tv weekend-programming, and as heartfelt as those dumb-ass love quotes females so often choose to live by.
Yes I talk a shit load of bull, it's in my nature. And at any given moment in time I'll be bullshitting someone. But don't confuse that with being dumb. If you're into the whole twar thing, you're an idiot! Don't argue, just nod in acceptance. What's disturbing about this though, is that 98% of the time the 'war' is between females. I'll give you a $1 000 000 if you can correctly guess what sparks the whole thing. Okay you took too long. But the actual cause is infact, a knob! Well maybe a text from the side-chick or the new interest, which you happened to 'bump' into. But ultimately, it centres around a knob! Wow ladies, wow! You never cease to amaze me! My only question is, why? If you're willing to lose your 'dignity' that easily, what else are you capable of doing? Can you imagine what I think of you? No you can't. But I'll do you the favour of telling you that, I actually have more respect for a diseased chicken than I do for you. But hey, I'm a tortured soul so don't pay mind to my words. Keeping quiet might earn you less points, less 'beast' status, but at the end of the day you still have your worth. And my respect, which is paramount!
Stop embarrassing yourself, the internet is just that - the internet! Stupidity is a such a strong force, like a black hole of sort. Always trying to suck someone in. Do the right thing, earn my respect. Choose logic babe.
Hurt me soul
I'd like to believe that I don't have a problem with homosexuals. As long as they stick to the terms of our unspoken contract, we're good. This contract simply says: "Stay the FUCK away from my man!" And anyone else I might look at, in parenthesis.
However, a problem does arise when they retain their masculinity but push feminine swag. That's when my uni-brow furrows a tad. I hate the word 'swag' but it's rather fitting in this context. And by swag I mean purple weaves, white blouses, pink nail colour, flower-top rings nshit. No, okay? Cut it out. Oh, and fat gays? No sight is more disgusting! Actually, there is. But I'll stick to the script, can't have you hurling your diaphragm out this early. So, back to my point. Lose that weight, re-apply for your dignity, THEN come out. I'll love you eternaly if you do.
With all this though, the worst mistake a gay human can make is to be below-average. This is of course in terms of style. It's bad enough that you're gay AND decreasing my chances at finding 'the one' but now you gotta look bad too? I mean, come the fuck on. It's by statute that your kind looks good, AT ALL TIMES! What went wrong with you? Which straight man will look at you in those bell-bottom velvet pants & 60's JERSEY? We all know they aint designer, trust! Been out lately? There's this garment that's gained much popularity, especially from your kind. It's called a cardigan.
Maybe I'm saying, don't be gay if you can't afford it. But that'd be heartless of me. So maybe just, keep it to yourself until you get a clue? You making the other lovables look bad! All the best. I thank you.
However, a problem does arise when they retain their masculinity but push feminine swag. That's when my uni-brow furrows a tad. I hate the word 'swag' but it's rather fitting in this context. And by swag I mean purple weaves, white blouses, pink nail colour, flower-top rings nshit. No, okay? Cut it out. Oh, and fat gays? No sight is more disgusting! Actually, there is. But I'll stick to the script, can't have you hurling your diaphragm out this early. So, back to my point. Lose that weight, re-apply for your dignity, THEN come out. I'll love you eternaly if you do.
With all this though, the worst mistake a gay human can make is to be below-average. This is of course in terms of style. It's bad enough that you're gay AND decreasing my chances at finding 'the one' but now you gotta look bad too? I mean, come the fuck on. It's by statute that your kind looks good, AT ALL TIMES! What went wrong with you? Which straight man will look at you in those bell-bottom velvet pants & 60's JERSEY? We all know they aint designer, trust! Been out lately? There's this garment that's gained much popularity, especially from your kind. It's called a cardigan.
Maybe I'm saying, don't be gay if you can't afford it. But that'd be heartless of me. So maybe just, keep it to yourself until you get a clue? You making the other lovables look bad! All the best. I thank you.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
You are what you do?
It's tricky in the streets of Whoreville.
My definition of the word 'whore' is of course senselessly retarded! And I use it loosely, call me tongue-happy. Only because I'm Phelisa.
Unless you're open about your hoefession, oops I mean profession - I will not judge you. Nothing more vein-piercing than a whore pretending to be Mary. Actually no, Mary was a dirty girl! Let's say, Jemimah. Only because I refuse to believe that a human with such a hideous name can trick-a-lot. And because it means "dove," which traditionally symbolises peace. By judge I mean, ridicule you and possibly plan your stonage. By stonage I mean, the process of stoning you. To death. Yes. Okay I lie. Just. Stop. Tricking. It's not healthy. You can't afford to lose the remaining pin-head size of respect the world has for you. A single vodka-cranberry is not worth your oowee! Do the Math. How many times do you drink in a week??
She lives, that Aids. Her spawn poised on every barstool, waiting for you.
My definition of the word 'whore' is of course senselessly retarded! And I use it loosely, call me tongue-happy. Only because I'm Phelisa.
Unless you're open about your hoefession, oops I mean profession - I will not judge you. Nothing more vein-piercing than a whore pretending to be Mary. Actually no, Mary was a dirty girl! Let's say, Jemimah. Only because I refuse to believe that a human with such a hideous name can trick-a-lot. And because it means "dove," which traditionally symbolises peace. By judge I mean, ridicule you and possibly plan your stonage. By stonage I mean, the process of stoning you. To death. Yes. Okay I lie. Just. Stop. Tricking. It's not healthy. You can't afford to lose the remaining pin-head size of respect the world has for you. A single vodka-cranberry is not worth your oowee! Do the Math. How many times do you drink in a week??
She lives, that Aids. Her spawn poised on every barstool, waiting for you.
Anele...
"I miss the days of old, thinking about you. You may be gone, but you're never over." - Marshall Mathers.
Three years later and it still feels like a dream. A foggy dream. Irritating foggy dream. Like I'll break for vac and see you. But you're in another world. I'm constantly reassured. I wonder about you. What you do. If anything. Is there college in heaven? Obviously Theology is a requisite MAJOR. Right?! Seeing anyone? What happens when you go to sleep, does He sing you lullaby? Do you have a curfew? You must get sad if you can't go to a gig. Hell, is there even such an emotion there?! Sadness. We carry it around. It's become a part of us. Is everyone up there? Even people from Cambodia??
So much happens, happened. I have to shut my eyes tighter than Asian eyes to see your face. I live in the hope of seeing you again. I guess. With everyday's close, I'm a day closer. Forever.
Three years later and it still feels like a dream. A foggy dream. Irritating foggy dream. Like I'll break for vac and see you. But you're in another world. I'm constantly reassured. I wonder about you. What you do. If anything. Is there college in heaven? Obviously Theology is a requisite MAJOR. Right?! Seeing anyone? What happens when you go to sleep, does He sing you lullaby? Do you have a curfew? You must get sad if you can't go to a gig. Hell, is there even such an emotion there?! Sadness. We carry it around. It's become a part of us. Is everyone up there? Even people from Cambodia??
So much happens, happened. I have to shut my eyes tighter than Asian eyes to see your face. I live in the hope of seeing you again. I guess. With everyday's close, I'm a day closer. Forever.
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