I can't imagine the pain, I only know my pain. And we were close. But, but we weren't bound by blood. Sometimes it feels like it's just happened, I've just received the news. Then my mind races between the events of those two weeks. I try to piece everything together. How I, survived each day up until breaking point, when we laid her in her final resting place. I fail. My mind goes blank. I've blocked out my pains so far back, so long and so hard I don't know what's what.

I know what you wore, in your bed. I can still taste my tears, the dust. Your laugh haunts my sleep. It's a difficult thing I'm going through. With my ill luck, I don't understand why my friend had to be taken away from me too. I've built, coushins and padded walls,to fall onto when it gets too hard. I've also stayed in this padded area so long, the doors have jammed. I don't know the intensity of the pain. I feel, the watered down pain. The pain I live with daily. The real pain jabs at me from time to time, that's when my world seems to crash around me. It's numbing. Sometimes I think my heart would stop, from pain.