Relevance is a demon I'm learning to tame. At my pace. This has absolutely nothing to do with my social standing, whatever that may be. I have wild ideas, about everything. Heck, I struggle with indentifying between intuition and logic. Who does that?!
I have no interest in this 'I'm a socialite.' dream. I can't even define that word. In my head however, it lies somewhere between whore and well, whore. Male and female. But as I've said - I have no business defining your lifestyle nor deciding your attitude.
I'm talking real nigga shit, which is my code for "Hey, I really just wanna make a noise 'cause a thought jumped at me." It's really more of a mini struggle, against myself, maybe. My mind, or intuition. Or that, force rather. It's more a case of Relevance to the World. What am I doing as Phelisa to make their situation better? Her life better? How am I making her smile? Or spreading love? That to me, means so much more than being dressed by Hip Hop, or being an MC at a specific brand launch. Truth be told, fly as they are - the ladies I see on my tv or on magazines are doing jack for me, and my neighbour. I know this because my neighbour is a geriatric who works at the Hospice, and doesn't even know who Justin Bierber is! When she's not at work, she spends her days with a bottle of whatever then proceeds to fight the demons that accompany the Drink, I call it hallucinating.
I'm not trying to be all goody-goody, but these things actually concern me. Giving a helping hand where I can makes my heart smile. I imagine it turns yellow. It could be that colour though, 'cause I've got some fat 'round those regions. But that's a story for another day. Maybe what I'm saying is, as much as I hate or admire or criticize, or even aspire to be, celebrities and/or socialites - their lives are not affecting me directly. My path has nothing to do with them, I'm just doing my best at this ME business. Do you, don't rub it in my face or act like you're God's gift to me. And I'll continue living.
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